Walking the dog the other morning I came across three beer cans stuck on branches of a tree? I wasn't on a trail I was out just wandering through the forest. Now I deeply understand the desire to consume a tasty malted beverage in the wilds. But Bud is not a tasty beverage and that cylindrical metal container is not appropriate decoration in the forest.
Why the love hate thing with old Mother Nature? Mother Nature is not always the bitch some claim her to be, after all if she was so nasty the wild places of this world would have no draw on our souls!
Perhaps you truly like the look of faded Bud logos hanging on trees, if so I am sure your home is easy to spot. The Bud, Silver Bullets, and all the other piss water you drink must supply ample decoration. If your financial position is not advantageous to your beer can fetish please send me your address. Mind you, most beer I drink comes from a bottle and has a name containing more than one word, but sometimes I drink from a can and I can drop them at your trailer!
Then not ten minutes later I came across a bag of dog shit in a tree!
W.T.F. F-tard you pick up your dog crap just to throw it into the forest? You are probably also the kink of person that dumps their yard waste, after all it's organic.
Hey, F-tard, ever notice all the invasive plants that should not be here? Like Morning Glory, no I am not talking about that thing you wake up stroking in the morning! This stuff grows from a small bit of the plant and is virtually impossible to get rid of. You must quite like the invasive plants though, you carry your dog shit into the forest to fertilize them, just next time take the bag home, you can use it to decorate!
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